Le Clan (aka Three Dancing Slaves)

Release date: 15 May 2004 (Cannes Film Festival)

Frenchman Gaël Morel directs this tale of three brothers trying to put the pieces together after the death of their mother. The middle brother, Marc (Nicolas Cazalé) anchors the story. He is a petty criminal at odds with his father (Bruno Lachet) while trying to keep his sensitive younger brother Olivier (Thomas Dumerchez) on the right path until their older brother Christophe (Stéphane Rideau) is released from jail. Le Clan is a family drama with plenty of woe and that classic French movie tendency to film nuance to the point of boredom. Sadly, there is just far too much going on here to develop any interested in anyone. While the cinematography is gorgeous and the story of young Olivier's affair with a capoeira dancing arab lad Hicham (Salim Kechiouche) makes the watching tolerable, you leave Le Clan both bored and confused. Not for children as there is a very brutal scene of Marc's dog meeting its demise and full frontal male nudity.

My rating 4 out of 10.

Another Gay Movie

Release date: 28 April 2006 (Tribeca Film Festival, USA)

A lighthearted and silly gay comedy of four thirty-something actors playing high school grads who make a pack to get laid by the start of their freshman year. While Another Gay Movie is clearly meant to be a parody of every straight movie of this ilk ever done, spoofs that continue to reiterate gay stereotypes raze the ire of this reviewer to the nth degree. Directed by Todd Stephens, it stars (and I use the term very loosely here) Michael Carbonaro as Andy, the good boy with a panache for vegetables; Jonah Blechman as Nico, the flamboyant queer; Jonathan Chase as Jared, the gay jock and Mitch Morris as Griff, the geeky lad. Canada's own Boys In The Hall star Scott Thompson does a great job as Andy's bisexual dad and Survivor winner Richard Hatch joins the fray - nude throughout - as Nico's obsession. A nod to Ashlie Atkinson here as Muffler, a bull dyke with attitude who steals every scene she's in. Not for children as there are plenty of full-on sexual scenarios here including a shot - heaven help us - of Richard Hatch's, um, member.

My rating 3 out of 10.

Tan Lines

Stealing themes from several iconic movies including Great Expectations and My Own Private Idaho and with a talking statue of the Virgin Mary and a talking picture of Pope John Paul II, Tan Lines is one riddle of a film. Contrasting heavy themes with plain weirdness, director Ed Aldridge gives us the story of Midget Hollows (Jack Baxter), a gay surfer boy growing up in a going nowhere town in Australia. When Midget's best friend Dan's (Jed Clarke) brother Cass (Daniel O'Leary) returns to town after a four year absence, the two start a secretive love affair that launches questions about Cass's disappearance and Midget's own identity. Tan Lines is an exceptionally odd film, with many faults yes, but is utterly engaging thanks to the real connection (and great acting) of Baxter and O'Leary. And with the surreal Miss McQuillan (Theresa Kompara) and her niece, Alice (Lucy Minter) storyline aside, works to show us the trials and trials of growing up gay in nowhere-ville. Had it a better title, my guess is this little gem would have done better everywhere.

My rating 8 out of 10.

Jumper

Release date: 6 February 2008 (Rome, Italy)

Based on the novel by Steven Gould Jumper has us meeting David Rice (Hayden Christensen), an Ann Arbor lad who discovers he has the ability to instantaneously 'jump' anywhere on the planet. And being a teenager David does just that, jumping into and out of bank vaults to make himself a wealthy man. His talent though attracts the attention of the paladins, a group of assassins bent on killing folks like David as they represent an affront to God, led by Roland (Samuel L. Jackson). When David uses his talent to woo his childhood sweetheart, Millie (Rachel Bilson), by taking her to the Coliseum in Rome he haphazardly comes face-to-face with a group of Roland's paladins and another jumper named Griffin (Jamie Bell). The two jumpers agree to work together to hunt down Roland and bring a end to the cat and mouse game once and for all. Directed by Doug Liman, Jumper has more holes than a good slice of swiss cheese, but if you suspend the intellectual bits of the story and simply sit back and enjoy the wonderful ride it provides to Egypt, London, Tokyo and Rome, it is great fun. The most shocking thing about this film is that Hayden Christensen's acting is better than Samuel L. Jackson's, which is truly saying a lot of both actors' efforts in this outing.

For that feat, the great special effects, and for giving us the always tremendous Diane Lane (as David's mother, Mary), Jumper gets my rating of 6 out of 10.

Mayerling

Release date: 16 February 1936 (Denmark)

Directed by Anatole Litvak, Mayerling recounts the tragic, real life, love affair of Archduke Rudolph, the son of Emperor Joseph (played by Jean Dax) and heir to the Austro-Hungarian Empire and his mistress, Marie Vetsera, a minor noble. This 1936 effort is based on Claude Anet's novel and stars Charles Boyer (as Rudoph) and the beautiful Danielle Darieux (as Marie). Filmed in the classic style the French New Wave directors so loved to hate, Mayerling captures the liberalization so rampant within Vienna at the time as it efficiency spins the tragedy of Rudolph and Marie. When his father demands he break off the affair, the couple spend one final weekend at Mayerling, the royal hunting lodge. There, early on a cold January morning in 1889, the crown prince shoots Marie and then commits suicide. Roll the 'fin'. With no heir, Rudolph's cousin becomes crown prince only to be assassinated with his wife in Sarajevo, an act that ignites World War I.

Rich and engaging and for highlighting one of the last century's enduring mysteries, my rating 8 out of 10.

A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy

Release date: 16 July 1982 (USA)

A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy sees the very first pairing of Woody Allen and Mia Farrow before they married. Based loosely on William Shakespeare's play but morphed as only Allen can do, it is lighthearted fair. Woody stars as wonky professor Andrew Hobbs who, not surprisingly, is having a challenging time with his wife, Adrian (the always great Mary Steenburgen). When the pair invite friends - a very old philosophy professor Dr. Leopold Sturgis (Jose Ferrer) and his very young fiancee Ariel (Mia Farrow) and a horny doctor Maxwell (Tony Roberts) and his nurse Dulcy (Julie Hagerty) - to their countryside cottage all manner of sexual intrigue ensues. While not acknowledged as one of Allen's greatest films, A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy is a joyous take on sex with plenty of classic Allen humour, some great romps in the woods, subtle magic, and a musical score courtesy of Mendelssohn that fits perfectly with what's on screen. I never tire of watching it.

My rating 8 out of 10.

Knowing

Release date: 9 March 2009 (New York City, USA)

Alex Proyas directs Nicholas Cage as John Koestler, a MIT professor and astrophysicist whose son, Caleb (Chandler Canterbury [unfortunate name isn't it]) ends up in possession of a letter written by an odd little girl named Lucinda (Lara Robinson) way back in 1959. That letter, not more than a series of random numbers, Koestler discovers, actually predicts the dates and number of casualties of every major disaster for the past 50 years. Naturally, the letter still has a couple dates pending so Koestler begins his quest to understand these final entries, including the letter's last which gives a date for destruction and the letters "EE" meaning "everyone else". The film up to this point is actually quite engaging, the lack of character development aside. But enter the end of the world predictions (this time via a solar fare) and the appearance of "whisper people" - aliens who arrive to whisk off the Koestler's kids to start over again and the whole film goes off the rails. Knowing proves the old adage that having a great story premise and pulling it off on the screen is often harder than you think. Yet, for the rank silliness that arrives about two-thirds of the way into the film, Knowing makes a great go of it at the beginning including two utterly amazing scenes: a plane crash that is stunning and a subway crash that demonstrates all that's good about CGI. Is Knowing a good film? Not particularly, but it's certainly worth a rent.

My rating 5 out of 10.

Le scaphandre et le papillon

Release date: 22 May 2007 (Cannes Film Festival)

The true story of French Elle magazine editor Jean-Dominique Bauby (Mathieu Amalric) who at age 43 suffered a stroke that left him with trapped-in syndrome, completely aware and cognizant but utterly paralyzed save the ability to blink his left eye. Trapped within himself, he took to dictating a series of letters, conveyed by blinking each letter to his assistant Claude (Anne Consigny), that convey the joy and sorrow of his experience. Director Julian Schnabel takes us literally into Jean-Do's world filming much of the movie through his left eye. It is a daring and effective device that serves to heighten the poignancy of Jean-Do's situation. While tragic certainly, and while Jean-Do was no saint and lived a crazy life, he comes to terms with his situation and shows us all we should never feel sorry for ourselves or take our wondrous time here for granted. Le scaphandre et le papillon is a brilliant film, brilliantly directed and brilliantly acted, with a special nod to the regal Max Von Sydow who gives us some gorgeous scenes as Jean-Do's father. The real Jean-Do sadly passed away from pneuomia two days after seeing his book published. A film everyone should experience.

My rating 9 out of 10.

Peur(s) du noir (aka Fear(s) of the Dark)

Release date: 21 October 2007 (Roma International Film Festival)

Peur(s) du noir is a montage of six uniquely different vignettes laced together piecemeal in the fashion of a dream. Two pieces anchor the film, Blutch's highly stylized - but ultimately meaningless - story of a macabre nobleman and his pack of brutal dogs who ends up getting his comeuppance and Pierre di Sciullo's beautifully woven geometric animation voice-overed with our common fears. The other four stories are all stunning in their graphic nature but hit and miss in their delivery. A young lad who ends up trapped by a sado masochist girlfriend-cum-insect was kooky, well drawn and fun; the Japanese-anime inspired story of a little girl possessed by the spirit of a dead samurai was strange but engaging; and the late-night traveler who ends up in an Edward Gorey-esque home with its resident ghost was excellent. With voice over by the late son of Gerard Depardieu, Guillaume, and directed by Blutch and Charles Burns Peur(s) du noir has enough great animation to make it a must for any anime, animation or art-house filmgoer even if the horror is, despite the great use of black ink, rather light.

My rating 6 out of 10.